My sandals & just a short,
Cause' I still don't have a dime!
All the way to our terminal
Unnecessary but pleasant fuss
Bound to boost the moral!
All in order, ''Et Voila''
Departure lounge here it comes!
Looking at this big steel bird
Anxiety I start to feel...
One in ten millions chances I heard
To free fall and to squeal!
Before take off, I shall pray
Not to end up on an island ''Cast Away''
With a football friend named ''Wilson''
Keeping me from going crazy all alone!
''One of the safest way to travel''
I hear a passenger say...
''Life vests under, shall you hear MAYDAY-MAYDAY''
Now all switch off your phones!
...And I don't want to hear no moans!
''Just Safety Precautions''
In an -unlikely- event of an emergency
Yet stressing strict instructions
''Emergency Exits, here, here and here!''
''Oxygen masks above and lit pathways there''
Giving me all reasons to fear
But let's not get dramatic,
Disasters seldom happen...
Unless we have a fanatic,
Ready, onboard & well hidden!
Where was it six years ago...
Men in robes shouting ''Allah''
Blew up a bunch of white people
To shag 47 virgin fatma?...
Where are we going already?!
Oh! I remember! -to Bali-!
I've got everything I need
At every hours of the day!
Captain announces our landing
Now all excited, this is for real!
Bag on my shoulder, first standing
My impatience, I try to conceal!
Captain says ''Sorry, in your seats you will stay!''
We have a sick passenger, out of luck
So until a doctor comes our way,
All together you are stuck!
Staff rushing on their way
Defibrillator without delay
This is drama TV full size!
And few good souls praying...
Freedom at last! We disembark!
At fast speed we rush & go
Cant wait to reach the sack,
Everyone's just too slow!!
But the driver's a newbie
We turn quiet and very pale!
Projecting hospitalization!
And so the end of our ordeal...
With his driving ''alla Kill Bill''!
Here we are in our bungalow!
With a ''spidy'' in the sink saying hello!
I jump high, adrenalin pumping!
Grabbing a glass, both hands shaking,
Getting closer, Spidy jumping
Asthma triggering and glass breaking!
No way, wont sleep, cant sleep
All done, we crash in bed exhausted!
In this haven of tranquility......and bugs....
Until an army of frogs croaked our way,
Where are them bloody earplugs!?
The next morning, starving for breakfast
We decide to brave the Balinese roads
Helmets, padded clothes and luck a must,
We rent a vespa, Slouch shoulders and curbs our toes!
Back looking like two hedgehogs in shock
Perhaps a car would be safer...
The roads here worse than in Bangkok
If not a tank, extra armor!
Map, first aid kit & religious faith!
Car rental does not provide insurance!
''Don't worry you'll be just safe''
Kidnapping my bank card if by mischance!
Andmy first time driving on this side...
Which way do I turn at crossroads?!
Ill try my best not to collide...
''Watch the ditch by my side!''
''And the suicidal dogs crossing!''
If I don't start focusing!
Intensive orientation training!
Between ''Dempasar'' and ''Uddu''...
At every street corners we are stopping
Where are we? We haven't got a clue!
If only not hidden behind trees!
''For goodness sake drive slowly!''
''How many times shall i say please?''
In the fog and the pestering rain...
Missing a harsh turn also
My friend to scream and to complain!
Huge lorries running at snail's pace
Second gear our only speed
25km/h we can't exceed!!!
We stop at a charming ''restaurant''
A good coffee we were hoping
Our first sip with a loud grunt
What the hell is this dark thing???
Very sweet with bits in it''
More like liquid brown jam
Couldn't swallow but only spit!
Banana pancake sounds appealing!
I order one hoping to better taste
Oily uncooked batter with garlic in
Or some dodgy old dirty paste...
Ill stick to packed crisps
And bottled water will do
Nothing else to pass my lips
Nothing at all, really, thank you!
I end up red as a lobster
Looking like a bicolor fool
Or a giant talking blister!
Hiding in pain in every shades
I wait to stroll in the gardens
At least until all sunlight fades
Ill get out when it darkens...
Alas as a new born cretin,
I didn't think I was gonna be eaten
And to death viciously bitten
By the flying dirty dozen!
This is nature at it's best
If only the pain could be repressed
I'm too proud so I wont moan
Ill smile and pretend all the way
This is painkillers buffet!
Time to come back to reality
Ill be glowing very brightly!
